Not loving life so much
Posted on Dec 17, 2007 under Personal |I have been horribly depressed for a while. Meds don’t help so please don’t tell me to do that. Doctors don’t help, they say I’m fine. What’s wrong is that I have nothing to look forward to. I have no real friends close to me, the ones I do have live too far away. The last time I went out was with my mom, so that she didn’t have to go to flint alone.
I only do things with my family, again I have no friends that go out and do anything. They have kids and boyfriends that take up all of their time. If they can go somewhere the kids and the boyfriend come with. Most of my friends left me when they found out I was diabetic. It was too much for them.
I can’t find work. I’ve only had 2 years of work experience and I’ll be 25 next month. I have bad credit and the economy sucks. I have bill collectors harassing me at all hours usually calling at least 4 times a day.
I think what has really bothered me is that no one cares about me anymore. When I was in the hospital only 3 people came to see me, my sister, my aunt, my mom (who complained about leaving work) my older sister tried but they wouldn’t let her in with the baby.
As you can see. I have reasons to be depressed and feel worthless. Not to mention the paid blogging I do on my other blogs is not working out as well since google decided they hate women and children and want to ruin Christmas for everyone. Of course they also ruined life’s, but we wont get into that.
So once again my world is falling apart. I now have no money to do anything for my birthday so I will once again sit at home and cry and hate myself. I will wonder why God hates me so much. I don’t even have money to get drunk.
I hate days like this, and it looks like there will be alot more then there use to be. I look at my future and see nothing…
Now I know many many people have it worse then me, but I feel so alone. Has anyone else felt this way?
