Mood changes
Posted on Mar 03, 2008 under Personal |Ever since I became diabetic, I have noticed that I have horrible mood swings. I’ve noticed them for about 3 years now, but they have just gotten worse. I thought at first it was because my dad passed away just about 3 years ago, but they have gotten worse. Now they get really bad. Today I woke up in an okay mood, then I got happy for no reason, then I almost took my little brothers head off in the store today. Thats not the worst part of the day either.
After we got home I was kinda tired so I just sat at the computer and stared at the screen. Then about 10 minutes ago I just started thinking how lonely my life is now, I have no friends near me, I can’t move closer to the ones I have because I can’t find work, and even if I did my credit is so bad I wouldn’t be able to afford a place. Oh and I have to buy a car next month, with nothing by the way. So I now am once again extremely depressed, I have a pain in my chest because I’m sure I’m close to an anxiety attack and I just keep thinking how I wish I had someone here to talk to. Someone who cared about me. I’m tired of watching all my friends and their boyfriends. They are so happy and I just keep thinking I will never have that. I haven’t in 25 years so why would it change now?
I have been used by every guy I have come into contact with, they don’t want me as a partner they just want me for sex or money. The worst part is my old friends who I no longer talk to don’t understand why I am picky about guys, why I want to get to know a guy a little. Of course they don’t have anyone to set me up with anyway as none of their friends would date a fat chick as they put it.
So anyway the point is I’m feeling down and I had to write about it so that the pain in my chest would go away, it worked so thats good. I really hate these mood swings.
